the great reverse

there is just TOO much i want to share today!
i hate "hodgepodge" posts that are all over the place, but I also want to say all of this today.
SO:
Lauren Glova: YOU CAN DO IT! i know you can.
i love having you as a friend, and girlfriend to my brother.
i know everything falls down at the same time on us and its discouraging but hang in there!!! in such a short time i'll be home and we can talk about movies and books and watch the office again, ok?
i believe in you and believe you're gonna make such a difference in this world!
love you and happy birthday one day early! :)

i found PHILADELPHIA cream cheese at the store yesterday! JOY OF JOY!!!!! i am LOVING it :)

my dad is coming soo soon i can't almost believe it....

and now for a bit of seriousness and history 101 with rebekah:

*ahem,* pull up a chair and grab some coffee!

6 years ago i set out on what i thought would be a 3 month journey. 

things are never what they seem, are they?

i had no idea the people i would be embarking on this great adventure with would become some of my dearest friends; that they would become my family.
i had no clue the extent of poverty we would see and interact with daily.
i didn't realize the depth of human suffering and how those who have lost everything
can still smile and
dance.
i didn't think it was possible to eat such spicy food, to sleep in such broken-down places and go days without a shower;
but it is.

i didn't know i was so insecure, so dependent on my families belief in Jesus, so immature
 till i was away from everything and everyone that was familiar to me.

Jesus became my savior, my friend, my sustainer on that trip. He was mine. I fell in love and grew leaps and bounds in trust during those three months in West Africa.

this post is so bittersweet to me...

sweet because it was one of the best experiences of my life. bitter because it was one of the hardest things i've ever done...and i miss my teammates almost daily...

i have a thousand and ten thousand more memories tied to my team and time in west africa. 

i am blessed because in the very beginning of our time together a documentary film crew followed us around. 

the goal was to create a sorta mini-series off of our time, or a full length movie of our time 

for churches to show their youth/young adult groups.

within a few months they had finished short trailers and shared clips of what was edited together to us.

it was phenomenal. spectacular. 

i was so proud that i was part of something that i knew God would

use to help bridge the gap between 

"i can't do anything for Him,"

 to 

"wow, this is feasible, i'm just a normal person...if they did it, so can i."

but that was 6 years ago.

and though i've never for a moment forgotten the fact that this crew of 5 people lived with us those first few weeks overseas, i had almost stopped believing it would ever be released. 

what can i say, i'm practically a pessimist. 

living most of my life on that fine line between 

realism and pessimism.

but this past September it was released! 

i've been receiving emails from my teammates that its wonderful and all sorts of other 

sappy "teammate" things.

but seeing as i live in Africa it would be a bit till i saw it. 

or so i thought!

i just got it in the mail yesterday! and of course the instant work was over, i watched it!!

and as i watched it, 

i wept...

tears of joy remembering the silly moments.

tears of sadness remembering some of the things we saw and encountered. 

i just was so emotionally overwhelmed seeing what we prayed for and experienced be brought to life in such a real, vivid, beautiful way.

i remember at first finding it very awkward that a little microphone was attached to my shirt and knowing that about 30 feet away there were men filming my every move. but after a day or two it was such a comfort knowing i was never alone. even when surrounded by hundreds of kids and no other white person in sight, i knew that if i spoke a simple "help," the guys would put down their cameras and come get me, or at least show their face so i was reassured of their presence.

it taught me a beautiful lesson in the nearness of God. 

almost every night we'd have special "one-on-one" moments with the camera digesting the day. as i'm not the most vocally comfortable person it was very difficult sharing what my heart and mind were processing. so much of that time sadly didn't make it on the film for any of us (i mean, with 8 teammates and only a little bit over an hour much has to be cut...), but i know the level of trust and openness me and that camera developed. 

and i LOVE what they pulled from us along with the work we did...i couldn't be prouder to have a small part in this documentary.

Chip and the rest of the guys at Fearless Films did such an amazing job. the film is being released on INO records (love them...) and you can buy it NOW! 

AND it ships internationally (hence how i received it...).

if you aren't convinced you want to get it, just watch the trailer and let it work its 

magic on ya!

or read this (one of many) reviews of the film. 

you can go here and buy it yourself!!

GO buy or watch "NOMAD: the great reverse"

you won't regret it...