oh the funnies of jet lagged brain....

this is a random funny and deeply emotional (sad) post. beware.

i literally,
not 20 seconds ago,
discovered my earrings are
magnetized.

i'm not entirely surprised i never knew this before.
i mean, its not like i hold up
magnets to my head with
each pair of earrings i wear.
that would be stupid.
and through fully silly....i tend to think i'm not
stupid. *grin*

i found this all out by leaning way forward to pick up my
power cord.
it just so happens my head rested on the top of my laptop screen
and badda boom
badda bang
i was stuck.
too me a few moments to realize how
(maybe i am stupid after all *wry grin*)
and then i dislodged myself.

the thought that some of my earrings might be magnets has
fascinated me in the now
minute of my knowing and i just might
be putting my head to my laptop screen from now on
to figure out if all my earrings are, or just this pair.
fascinating stuff.

..................................
i'm completely not ready to start school tomorrow. i know this is the time of year where every
teacher wants to run for cover and never
return to life....
the glorious start to a new school.
fresh with promises, expectations, hopes, frustrations...new-ness.
though i love the new start...it brings so much new added stress
for me. for the teacher.
i'm trying to approach it with joy.
after all, i do so hope this is my last "first day" back teaching ever.
don't get me wrong. i love molding young minds.
love the ability i have to pour and shape the way they view life.
but this day in-day out teacher stuff is not for me.
i was made to love, disciple, pray, worship, write...this
responsible teacher stuff is for others.
not me.
i'm to free thinking. too easily distracted from the lesson at hand.
too eager to stop and really savor some lessons and then skip
the ones i don't think are worthwhile are valuable.
i just want to play. can that be an educational philosophy?
it is. i know it is. it is mine at least.
i have always learned more when i am playing, when i am laughing.
and i know you can't laugh your way through 12 grades, but you can certainly laugh your way through 6 of 8 hours each day. right?! right.
oooo to shape these sweet boys little minds. they are so tender.
so unique. each of them processes differently. it amazes me how at 2, 3,4 and 5 i can already see that.
i'm their foundation for the rest of their educational lives.
the little lessons they learn with me will either propel them into a loving relationship with school
or one of deep dread and frustration.
that is such a daunting thought.

it is absolutely terrifying knowing they see me.
they see my happy days and my sad days.
they know the days i have fun things planned and when i
tell them to be quiet and play with their play-doh.
hopefully those days are few and far between. they are few and
far between.
but still...its so easy to feel like there is never
enough fun stimulating activities for them.
their little minds wonder SO FAST.
they absorb so fast and they are ready to tackle new things
so fast.
its one of the best things about them. their little ability to learn so much.
i am convinced that if properly taught in small increments there is absolutely
nothing they cannot learn.
that inspires me.
how wonderful for me (and them too, i hope?!) if
i can teach them what i really love teaching:
biblical greek and theology! hahahahaha.....i'll keep you posted on that goal.
i'll settle to be able to talk about spiritual matters.
Ooooo in Jesus name their English will be that advanced come the end of this year!
...............................
i didn't want to share either of the next two things. but after being inspired by my earrings to sit and write, i knew the prayer support alone is needed.
i'm not fully sure all that is going on, but my second closest friend working
here on the farm has left.
lucky is one of the youngest workers here and he did a lot
with me and the other "american's" on the HopeHousee.
he is a dear friend.
i'm not sure if he'll be in the area that i'll see him, or not but its sad
to return and find out he isn't here and isn't coming back.
weird and sad.
................................
in more sad news, after
arriving on the farm yesterday i was told one of our workers was killed
during the week in an auto accident.
it still hasn't hit me. in fact, the whimp in me
would desire nothing more than to believe
he is still away on holiday with his family in Zim.
Ammon was a friend.
Ammon is who helped move a bed into my room for my dad.
He is who helped move my bed around when I downsized to a small "African" single.
Ammon is the worker who every time I see him smiles at me.
Ammon is the one that is the "second" father to so many of my kids.
Ammon was my friend.
Ammon had two children of his own.
Ammon was married to my friend, Esther.

tomorrow is the funeral. it will be held here at the farm.
i'm thinking some "extra" children might show up as their
parents attend the service.
i wish i could attend the service.
my heart is just so heavy with all this.
i have seen Esther a few times and she is just so downcast.
i don't know how else to describe her.
Esther, my usual smiley friend who always encourages me and
calls me her sister.
my sweet Esther has lost her beloved.
...............
and in sorta nervous news; tomorrow my
mom has major surgery on her shoulder.
apparently she wont even be able to lift a glass of water for some 2 months. ITS NUTS!
i'm so sad and feel guilty not being around to help. i know
this is where i am supposed to be,
and she is proud of me for being here, but i can't
help and wish i was there to take care of her....
.....................................

would you say a prayer for the funeral here on the farm? for Ammon's family and Esther? Also, pray for
my mom, and tomorrow; its the first day of school! yikes a be!

time for bed...5 am always rolls around too soon. way too soon....