Post american world vol. 2

ok, okay! before i tell you about this book that i LOVED let me tell you what i did sunday night and
how yesterday filled me with refreshment.

so this american family just moved to the farm. i'm sure i'll write more about them later. its funny having americans here. makes me realize how "un-american" i am in my thinking and the way i dress and what i care about. i wouldn't necessarily say i am south african, i'm just a mish mash of random places. however, it has amazed me how much i have assimilated (already! its only been 7 months!?!) into the south african way of thinking, and speaking, and relating to others. even the boys from town said i have lost my american accent and am beginning to sound like them!
(secretly, this thought made me very giddy!)
guess its not a secret anymore.... *smiles*

anyway, i drove us into church sunday night. they are all fighting jet lag pretty fierce still. it sorta surprises me, but they have an extra 3 hours on me since they are from Washington state so it makes sense. anyway, i forgot to get gas when we left town. i knew we'd make it to the farm fine, and i knew we'd get back to town another day but that would be close. very close.

well the kids were sleeping and bethany (the nanny with them for the first month) was asking me lots of questions. in between answering her questions and constantly thinking and viewing the gas gauge i completely missed the turn onto our tar road.
{background information: when you leave my farm, you have about 2-3 miles of dirt driveway road. then you have a ten minute drive on a "tar road" that is named the Sterkrivier (pronounced stock-re-fee). then a 20 minute drive on the big road: the R101.}
so by the time i realized i had missed the Sterkrivier turn off I was about 8 minutes further down the road. at this point i had two options. because of gas i either would have to turn around and go ALL the way back to Mokopane, or continue on the R101 for another 20 minutes till I hit the next town and gas station. I decided to keep going. By the time we got gas and got back to the farm, it had been over an hour of extra driving.  I felt so stupid.
BUT a massive joy and praise is that the Lord "snapped" me out of my wallowing in less than a day over this!!
i rarely have moments of slipping into what i call "bad" thoughts anymore, and the only time i do is when i do something stupid like this, that though it is a common and simple mistake, it sets off old memories.
i don't know why, but as soon as something like this happens that i feel i should not have done, the devil just instantly brings up things jordan would say about me and my ability to do and just be. which then makes me feel like a failure and even though i recognize this is what's happening it still is hard to tell myself i'm not a failure of a human. seriously, i felt so bad and guilty over missing this turn. i wanted to crawl into a hole and not come out. i had very real plans of wanting to call off work the next morning and just run away so i didn't have to explain to anyone how i could do something so careless.
(before all of the degradation from jordan i would have felt bad, but after apologizing gotten over it and not given it another thought. i guess this would be score one for abuse's continuing affect on my life...)

score 80 million though for the Lord speaking to my heart through his Word and Thomas Watson.
i am reading one of Watson's books and i can't tell how his writing on grace and forgiveness and the pleasure of the Lord for his Beloved blessed me. normally it would take me a week or two to snap out of feeling so stupid and incapable (and it occurs now about once ever 2 months or so. HUGE progress alone, right there!). but this time it was less than 24 hours till the Lord spoke peace and grace and worth back into me.

i can honestly say right now i don't care at all that i missed the turn off or that i made these poor americans stay up an hour later or anything. wooo hooo!!! His Healing is more than enough for me!
.........
ok, so back to this book! O DEAR GOODNESS! I really think EVERY American and nonamerican needs to read it.
I can't tell you how right on it is.
it doesn't bash America, nor does it glorify America.
Zakaria, is from India but immigrated to the US in the early 80s. He works at CNN and is a democrat, but, very critical of both parties failures and shortcomings.
Mom and Dad, he even talked positively about the war in Iraq, supporting it but also being very honest about how a few differences should be made to make it a success. just an fyi *smiles*

i am what i would call a disgruntled american. i think its because i've traveled so much and seen how the pride of americans is viewed around the world.

This book restored my pride in my country. I'm NOT EVEN JOKING!
it made me hopeful that America can continue to be used of the Lord around the world, it made me hopeful that maybe the little steps needed will be made to create a more balanced system of economics and politics. It also made me proud of other countries and how across the globe there is growth.

it was full of information and knowledge and i can't even begin to unpack that all here. However, i really really really recommend it to everyone. it is an easier read in the sense that it the language is understandable. it is full of statistics and is written from a love of America. I just feel very joyful in being born where i am and having the resources I have at my fingertips and the freedom.

Zakeria talks about "the rise of the rest" and that it isn't the "american system" is crumbling but that other countries are finally capitalizing on their potential. he uses history of many nations and empires (which i LOVE because i really do feel history just is in a constant "repetition" of itself). he also does character studies of India and China and how they are growing and why. He talks about England and how they lost their world domination in the late 1800s...it is just such a fascinating historical/geographical/economical/political and social book. wow. i loved it.

good good book. read it.
k, thats all!
*smiles*