my sweet little men had shots today. i think it was harder on me then it was on them. the clinic is in the middle of this big anti-mumps campaign and doing vaccinations on all the wee little ones in the province. i knew it wouldn't be pleasant. i didn't know how unpleasant it would be. the tears and cries were plentiful!
oh, how i love them so!
i have decided that if/when i ever have children i will not take them to the doctor for their immunizations. i will go away and let my husband and father take care of it. i completely agree in immunizing children, but i can't do it. i thought i would near pass out today. my stomach hurt and i almost fainted. i kept whispering in my head to myself, "suck it up, strangarity. you're not even getting the shots."
oh they cried. their sweet little faces contorted all pain-filled. they screamed. they clung to me. i couldn't believe it. i imagined them trying to run back into the school building...but they didn't. little hands reached up and clawed my neck and stomach.
oh, i love them!
they also got polio medicine. two droplets into their open mouths. perfect (above) was the absolute worst. that kid spat his out 6 times. SIX TIMES! 2 times on me, once on the doctor, and the rest on the ground. oh he fought so strong to not take it....i almost gave in. i have no backbone when it comes to their pain. finally he swallowed.
their little arms. so strong in fighting. little red specks on chocolate skin. i couldn't take it. of course, ruben and johanno didn't even make a noise. how in the world, roelene (you, stalker! *grin*)? they were little brave angels and gratefully too.
i normally enjoy when the clinic comes. they give medicine, they make the kids better. but i'm not lying at all when i say i would be fine to not ever see them again. i just can't handle it. their little tear stained faces. i don't care it makes them better and healthier in the long run. it hurts my heart.
all of these photos were taken last week. we used the timer after lunch. the boys know that if they eat well i will let us play or watch a movie. they almost always chose to play. i am teaching them to use my camera. so the photos that have 3 or more of them in are timer shots. otherwise its one of the boys. they didn't do to shabby of a job for the very first time pushing buttons and holding a camera. i was nervous but their excitement over doing this was my joy too.
i moved. this afternoon. the rain delayed the moving for two days. which isn't long, but when you're anxious and ready its long. i'm sitting in my new bed now. i have never felt so relaxed and content over such an unsettled thing in my entire life, or at least in a very long time. i have no plans to leave again but i have no plans to really stay here longer than a few weeks. its a weird place. this unsettled but settled feeling and i'm glad. i'm on the other side of the farm with one of the families here and i think it will be so good for me to have a family environment. i'm a bit curious to see how living with a family goes as its been over 7 years since i lived with one. ha! but it will be good to have more hugs and love and not be living alone.
please go back and look through these photos again. please take note of each face in each photo. the expression these boys make kill me. i love that you can see the relationship and trust kelvin and perfect and i have built. tutu is only in his 3rd week of school and still keeps his distance with me. soon he'll be hanging on me like the other boys do. but their faces. and little arm movements. just eat them up along with me, please!
oh, i love them so!
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