wash him clean

around ten yesterday morning my helper, becca comes to me and says one of the boys had pooped.
all over himself.

...and here i thought i had them all potty trained and was past the days of diapers and wipes and gross.
nope. no such luck.

i was doing activities with the older boys so i asked bec to take care of it. within a few moments she said she was gonna throw up and couldn't.

i left the boys, let her take over and went to see the mess myself.
boys don't do anything half hearted. i've learned that. it doesn't matter what they are doing, they go big. every single time.

this was no exception.
poor pedrence. he was coated.

i put on gloves and began to clean.

within ten minutes of very very little progress i realized more was needed.

we took a little walk. his cute naked body following behind me as we walked to a house.
i used to hate cleaning up their messes. sometimes i still do. but yesterday i didn't.

spent the next twenty minutes bathing him. laughing with him.
getting all sorts of soapy and clean.
i borrowed some clothes and dressed him.
then we walked back home.

i used to hate cleaning up their messes. sometimes i still do. but not yesterday. yesterday i kept thinking to myself that this is what the gospel is.

this is what Jesus does for me.

He comes in all big and clean and gets on my level and wipes me. 

He smiles at me as i stand exposed and gross and coated in my own flith and shame.

He lovingly washes over all of me. 

He'll lift me up out of the tub, wrap me in warm blankets and dry me off.

dressing me again in new clothes.

and i kept thinking to myself, this is what i came here to do. i came to love and spill of myself into others. i came to be gross and used and do whatever is necessary so that these little boys of mine know the Love of their Savior and Maker. 

and when He asks me what I've done for the least of these, i can think back to these moments. and i can know, and answer that i loved. that i gave of myself and got dirty too so that we could both be clean again.

and all the good of that means nothing if my heart isn't right, and so i pray pleading prayers with each swipe from the wipes. i pray that i stay humble and small and let Him come clean out all filth from my heart. 

i loved the special time with pedrence. it wasn't how i'd planned it, or what i'd normally think is the ideal, but sharing sweet giggles together and washing Him with love filled my heart. 

what a joy to be His hands and love these boys. even days like this when loving equals the dirty.