Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Happiest Birthday to my sweet Lania!

Today is my Lania's birthday.

in june, i had the ultimate privilege of being one of lania's maids as she married her best friend. i love this photo of her laughing because of what Henry said just hours before she walked down the aisle. to me, it captures her beauty perfectly...

i've had such a hard time narrowing down a photo or two from their wedding that i like. so i just made this college, and called it a day :)

its hard to sum up what makes Lania so wonderful.

perhaps its the way she quietly supports everyone in a room simultaneously and gives strength to others without you even releasing you were depending on her.

it could be the way she crinkles her nose when she is telling a really good story, or laughing at a particularly funny episode of the office.

its possible to describe how you might love her for her sweet faith and dependence on God. for the way in every moment she finds a way to point you back to Him.

you might love her for her addiction to woods, green, forests, trees, running, anything involving the outdoors and activity.

you might love her for the way she can cook and bake anything and make it taste delightful.

perhaps like me, you love her for the moments a cup of coffee is shared, and the peace that comes with quiet moments in each others presence.

you could love her for the way she paints and creates the ordinary into a lovely moment.

maybe you love her for the way she loves anything hippish and multicultural.

your love might grow over baking brownies and eating the entire pan within 20 minutes of it being out of the oven.

lania, i can't describe what you mean to me. i'll say it till i die, that you are the best thing that came to me from Jordan. your presence every day driving to work and home and listening to me just cry and cry and cry and shake my fists, and question, and crumble to the floor in despair, and move in with me, and never stop pouring love into me is a gift i cherish.
lania, you've spoken life and beauty and truth into my life in ways i needed so desperately.

what an incredible joy to have lived with you while Jaff pursued you. to have seen you blossom each day in his love is a gift i'll love forever. i love sharing in even a small part of you two coming together. i can't think to write about you without writing about him too... when i think of someone who is full of grace and beauty you are the first name i think of.
 
o my dearest friend, i wish i was at home to see you open your gift, to give you a hug and share an endless conversation about life and love and Jesus over chocolate and coffee together.

what a joy to have you again support me and play besides at our lil coffeehouse. your endless belief in me is staggering and a lifeline i remember and cling to each day.
 
lania, i love you so. thank you for allowing me to share your life. know i'm doing a dance and celebrating you here in Africa, our favorite place.
Happiest of Birthdays today, Lani!

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

ahoy camping

i'm not super motivated to share this post. i think because the best photos taken were snapshots in my mind that i alone know the moment of the "snap" and what scene was paused there eternally.

also, no photo that i took truly captures how freakin HIGH UP the mountains were,
nor how STEEP it was cresting the peaks,
or how the monkey tree branches would scrape and cut arms, legs, shirts, belly's and anything else they touched.
in some ways, i wish i left the camera at home and just absorbed everything with my senses.
it would have made me rely on the tiny but necessary ways one crafts
"the moment"
into
"the forever" --
--that dreams are made of.

it really was a magical weekend that you should have experienced with me....
my words are failing and i'm bored with showing you what it was like, so i'll resort to the boring description of what i like to call "telling" instead.
(shudders in shame)
(don't worry though, because...)
i'll grow weary of that and again begin to paint the weekend in colors, and life, and vibrancy like it WAS when i was living it.

first, let me begin be sharing how i've looked forward to this for 3 or 4 weeks. the plan was hatched shortly after i arrived here. it was just waiting for the first rain and a holiday when we'd all have off. thursday night it thundered and lightning-ed (is that a word?!?!) all night. obviously, rain came too.
MY FIRST AFRICAN RAIN! (joy!)
these south africans are way more intense then us americans, because as i was expecting a "canceled" text message another one arrived announcing we're still going and we will survive! hahahahhaa

i worked a half day on Friday. finished packing, made a sandwich, ate a sandwich, and waited for Shawn to pick Nathan and I up.
(We're still down the car since it blew up on me (sad face).
shawn was a gem and didn't mind coming to pick us up and drop us off after the weekend was over.
at this point the day was lovely. overcast, but not raining and the weather reminded me of a nice crisp fall day. okay, that was a slight exaggeration, but it was probably as close to crisp as we get here.

we were gonna camp up on the mountain, but we decided to only go 1/5 (or about that) friday night.
here we are just before setting up the mountain to set up camp. (yay alliteration!)















the camp, and the first mountain in the background. i told you it wouldn't look that steep. DON'T let this photo fool you. it was very big. plus you can't even see the other 3 mountains behind it.


of course we had a braai every day. our first nights meal was delish with a capitol D: so
i guess that would make it:
Delish.
also, isn't our nice little brick shelter for braai-ing and the fire nice? i'll have to give credit to whichever boy thought of it. but it kept the wood dry when it was raining. pretty clever if you ask me.


here is our little tea kettle; for coffee not tea. no one drinks tea here really (sorry mish, you'd go CRAZY). people do, just not often... i was worried that we ruined the kettle all weekend because of how black it got, but a little scrubbing got it right out.


we played a rousing game of mafia by the fire. i was literally a townsperson 5 times in a row till i was finally something else! then it still took 3 more times till i was mafia!! i stink so bad at lying in that game but I LOVE being a mafia. (muahahahhhaha)

the next morning we woke up hot and icky, and we were lacking water. so us girls convinced the boys we should drive back into town, swim and get more water and then hike the mountain in the afternoon. we had planned to hike in the morning first thing after breakfast.

what can i say, we're pretty good at persuading when we need to be. so into town we went (smile)

here is nathan pondering the deeper meanings of life as we drove into town.


by noon we were back to camp, feeling nice and refreshed from swimming and re-hydrating our water bottles.

(Perhaps it should be said here in case you don't know: i drink A LOT of water. in fact, my year at BOH i was known as the hydration specialist. i was in charge of water for everyone. during school i was never in class unless i had a water bottle with me. even now, when i go somewhere with leah, she will NEVER bring water because she knows i have enough for both of us.)

to summarize a conversation i was not privy to as it was in afrikaans, the jist was retold and that is as follows: (or i am butchering even that...but basically i know i was called the last line.)
"we're not gonna make it up the mountain with the water we have"
"sure we will, there is a 2 liter for everyone"
"thats not enough for her (me), she drinks like a horse"
brahahahhahahahaha....they know me SO WELL already (laughs)



while we were swimming in the morning a cobra was spotted at the house, so we we all got out of the pool to try and see it. this is our best scared face. we didn't see it, the boys all did, but by the time us girls got close enough it was to deep in its little hole.

so we get back and begin our climb.

i guess i was thinking we'd have a trail. i mean, i've NEVER hiked (nor climbed) anything unless it was very approved and marked by the park service.
not so here.
we made our own trail through the bush.















which was as times both exceptionally fun, and extremely frustrating.


the first 40 minutes was the hardest (besides the VERY very end). it felt the steepest and it just wore me out. the boys let us take lots of breaks. i guess it couldn't have been that bad because when we stopped at one point and realized an hour and a half had passed i couldn't believe it. it seemed like maybe 30 minutes....

apparently i enjoy climbing mountains. who knew?!

it would be climb one mountain, then either go down a bit to the next one or walk level a bit till the next one came up. mentally the hardest idea to overcome was that as i'd climb and almost reach the top of one,  i might have to go that far down and then even FURTHER up to reach the next one....


this is what it looked like. as we walked. it only had moments of driving me crazy. i should say, the thistle and thorn bushes drove me crazy. i think i overused "ouch" so much if i'd been giving myself a dollar for every time i said it, i'd be a millionaire twice over.

i lost patience with the tree thorns on the 3rd mountain. i'd just fight myself out of them, instead of waiting for someone to come help me out like we'd all been doing. that is how i got the holes in my shirt. o well....it was a $3 walmart shirt i wore, so i didn't lose much.....

the closer we got to the big mountain the more fully convinced i was that i wasn't going to climb it. the final yards were all rocks and it was just too steep. i wasn't interested in falling without health insurance. every time i'd go to stop though, shawn or fritz would tell me to wait till we stopped to eat lunch. we were trying to get to an outcropping of rocks and some shade. it "SEEMED" like it was at the base of the last big mountain. so i was ok with going till then.
somehow, no...not somehow. here's how....
*i'm blonde.
*i don't really pay attention when someone is in control. i'm more than content just following.
*if i ever looked up without being completely stopped and standing still, i'd fall and trip. so most of the hike was with my head down till we had breaks or i paused myself for a moment.

so in "this" how the boys tricked me into the climbing the final mountain. by the time we stopped for lunch, we only had maybe 200 yards to go till the top. here is a little view from lunch. i wasn't about to not go that final bit!

pretty, huh?
i wish you could understand how steep it was....see all the rocks? on the way down i couldn't manage to NOT have them fall below me onto everyone. somehow i was the only person who like knocked every stinkin rock from its place onto those below me. i really oughta work on that...

that last final stretch was so hard. it was so high and steep i was almost terrified with each step i took making me far to cautious and slow. it was really steep so i had to pull myself with my arms (which was a nice break for my legs, but hard). also, i was just plan tired. everyone passed me (which i was really fine with). i was to tired to be stubborn and care i was last finishing.
hahahahaha....which goes to show you EXACTLY how tired i was (smiles).

i made it to the to and just wanted to pass out. everyone was climbing onto this rock and getting photos of themselves and just taking it all in. i still hadn't really caught my breath and didn't trust my legs to walk out onto the edge myself. but....
...i did go out with lots of encouragement, poking, prodding, mocking and telling me i had too.


i'm SO SO SO glad i did!
besides the fact that the view was beautiful and i was really safe just sitting there like i did; this photo rocks (smiles).

man...the things i've seen and done since getting here take my breath away!

i can't tell you how GOOD it was for me to do this. i'm so glad i finished and climbed the final mountain. i wanted to but i didn't have the motivation to do it myself. for once (and probably the only time ever), i'm glad boys lied and tricked me into something (hahahahaha). standing on the top just looking out over the city was lovely.

i really have no other words.
i was proud of myself for doing this.
so proud.
i was elated that i just climbed not only ONE but FOUR mountains (in a single day!).
i felt strong and capable and it was funny how such a physical thing could touch me spiritually and emotionally and almost make me cry.

i climbed a mountain.
(still in shock and smiling!)

here is the final mountain after we climbed down. i am standing on the top of the 3rd mountain about to descend that one when i took this.

i guess it does seem semi-big here...but not big enough to be life-sized. also, remember this was the final mountain, we had 3 others in there too!!

the climb down sucked. it was harder (which i knew it would be), and just not fun. i mean, "getting to camp" was something to look forward too, but not in the way "reaching the summit" was. i fell many times. usually just because my foot would get caught on the uneven ground and i'd twist an ankle or something.

at one point i also did an army roll and fell a ways till i stopped. i can't even remember if i stopped myself or if i ran into fritz or nathan? i SHOULD be able to remember, but i was too traumatized thinking i'd roll off the mountain completely.
apparently it was a very graceful roll and many were jealous thinking it looked like great fun.

praise the LORD it did not happen over a thorn bush!

we got back to camp just before sunset and were tired, hot, happy, and gross. but here we are!!



the rest of the weekend seems so boring in comparison to the hike, but for proper documentations sake:
we wanted to go rinse off the grime and sweat so we drove down to a hose and just hosed off in our clothes.
water has never felt SO GOOD. it was heavenly and i felt so clean after.
we were all so tired we went to bed around 8:30 that night.
got up, relaxed a bit. ate breakfast, the packed to go home.
we swam some more in town before shawn drove nathan and i back to the farm.

ooooo, and also, Odette cut my hair on sunday morning by the pool. we sat under a palm tree and drank cold drinks while she did it.
my hair feels amazing and i love it.
it sure wasn't you, aunt rose, but i think i found someone who i trust and who can do you justice since you're so far away. (you could just fly here to cut it yourself, lady...but anyway....)

what a WONDERFUL weekend of camping and climbing a mountain.
(smiles)

ooo and come back tomorrow for the video uploads of it...i gotta figure out how to do that again, i forget so easily.
also, my dad is coming to visit after his mission trip up north! i'm so excited to have my first visitor, and my daddy at that!
and i changed my header....and i LOVE it. it sorta is a little obsessive with all the photos being me, but it fits what i've been doing here/seeing here....so, thoughts?!?!

Monday, September 28, 2009

this past weekend....

I found this...
because over the weekend it was posted on fb by a few people;
and getting home last night and checking email it popped up.

I laughed out loud!
Decided I missed moments like this when my parents think its cute dressing alike.
Decided I will ALWAYS love fb from now on for allowing me to share in moments like these form across the ocean.
This will forever end our love-hate relationship that has lasted roughly two years.
From now on, it will be a love-love relationship :)

THESE two gave birth to me.
Raised me.
and gave me ALMOST all of my ideas on life and love and Jesus.
Also, of medicine, laughter, swimming, football, and various other necessary life items.

I HOPE I will wear shirts like this when I am old and married like them.
(only not in tacky 60s garb)
Yes, they are OLD and MARRIED :)
but, I love 'em
.......................................................................................................................

Can ANYONE please tell me what the heck was going on that mom and dad did this?!?!?! and THANK YOU to Kim and Travis and Les for posting this photo.

Also, had a super duper weekend. but my photos aren't uploaded so I don't want to write about it. Also, after viewing this photo, how could I NOT share it with the blogging world.
Tomorrow I'll tell you what it was like to climb
four mountains.

brahahahahahhahaa my parents kill me :)


Friday, September 25, 2009

camper

I'm going camping today.
therefore, i am a camper.

we're gonna hike about 3 hours up a mountain.
watch the sun set
sleep under the stars
probably get rained on in the process since its been raining all day and night so far
today
wake up and eat amazing food
relax around a fire
climb back down the next day

i'm sure a braai or many braai's will be thrown in 

i'm going camping.
i'm a camper.
i don't think my lungs are very happy with this
and i'm pretty sure all the moms on the farm aren't as well
but sickness or no, i don't want to miss out on this...

its been planned for too long
and i'm
too
stubborn;
like a mule deer,
only more feminine and communicative

pray for sweet weather, sweet fellowship and that i don't get any worse.

(ps: mom and dad, sorry! i promise its not a terrible unwise decision to go, i have been on antibiotics for 4 days, so......
i should be "fine." Love ya's!)

chao bella!

Thursday, September 24, 2009

so i stumbled upon this

Doing some research for my kids at school I found Brocellosis on wikipedia (it was back-linked from an article I was reading)
This led to some fun last night.
ALL of these articles were not avaliable 3 years ago. Also, they aren't fully correct (which isn't suprising. It IS
wikipedia
after all.)
But they are fairly accurate and hilarious and I know my parents will laugh with me.

Three years ago this October I got a cold.
Well,
we thought it was a cold.

It started what would be a year and half journey to
discover
what really
was
going on in my body.

In some ways, I think it was harder than going through
a divorce
(and everything involved with that divorce).
Maybe not harder.
Just different hard. And in fact,
both contributed to each other in ridiculous ways of
good & bad.

Along the way of being so sick,
I was given a diagnosis of: this, this, this, this, this and eventually this.
Multiple times I'd have these, so bad I could barely move.
I'm cool, because I have this. Which made them tell me I had this for a bit. In fact, I was supposed to have a follow-up MRI to completely rule this out, but I lost insurance and wasn't about to pay for it. So....I guess I'm naively believing in faith I don't have it.

They also tell me I have a yet to be determined autoimmune disease. But for various reasons that are to long, complicated and confusing to spell out here, they have yet to figure out which one or multiple ones I do have.

(ALL of this doesn't bother me in the least. I know I live on borrowed time and am no closer to death today then what HE deems. That's enough for me)

Thankfully, all this testing in my brain showed that I had this and this. Which lead to this surgery in March 08. BEST decision I ever made.

I didn't realize with everything else going on that I was in such chronic pain for so long. But I remember the first thought I literally had after surgery was "no pain." Considering all the pain I should have had with coming out of a major surgery like that, I knew I must have been in so much pain and just gotten used to it.

Some fun facts from this medical season in my life:
  • The most vials of blood I ever had taken at one time was 13. Prior to that, it was 6. I thought that was a lot! Now, getting only 2 is like nothing. I'm a blood giving pro
  • I once drove to a specialist down in Philly with my dad to see one of his professors at Temple Medical Hospital in a snow storm. 
  • They told my parents I might not live another two weeks. (I don't remember this at all...I was really not with it much that Jan/Feb '07)
  • My fever was between 100-103 for weeks, then it would drop way to low for a bit, then go back up.....
  • My surgery scar is on my neck, but my doctor was SO good, you can barely see it.
  • Brocellosis is so eradicated in the US that I still have yet to find a doctor who's familiar with it and can give advice/treatment for me. All the doctors I've seen give contradictory advice.
  • Also, Brocellos is listed as a terrorist weapon (like anthrax) so it was amusing seeing the response from people after testing positive for it.
  • Who knows where I got ANY of this stuff.
  •  The medicine they put me on to kill Bro.cell destroyed my body (in a good way). It also made my pee bright red. My sweat was red (stained some clothes), and my eyes red-ish too; I couldn't wear my contacts while on it. (this was supposed to happen)
  • I was still able to graduate college with high honors and on time. SUCH a blessing from the Lord.
  • Also, I only missed 4 days of work during all of this. Somehow in HIS infinite grace and mercy I kept and maintained a full-time job. Not to the satisfaction I'd normally like, but enough to get the job done and not be fired :)
Since being diagnosed with the nonactive thyroid and being on a supplement I can't tell you the quality of life I have again. I really feel like I am FINALLY back to my old self. I've gone from being on too many pills a day to count, to just one single pill. Also, my immune system is functioning pretty much like a normal persons would. I've been the least sick of ANYONE in my family (UNHEARD OF!) the past year.

I do have days of not feeling great and I'm constantly aware of certain things now. Like eating a certain amount of food (and type) at certain times, keeping my schedule stable, lots of other little things, etc. But compared to how it was and thought it'd always be.
AMAZING!

Sometimes I forget so fast how I spent months just laying not even able to lift my hand up with the phone to talk to a friend who called. How I'd pass out standing longer than 5 minutes, how frail I was....man, finding all this stuff brought back the memories! Even finding all this, and marking it down here, I know I am forgetting so many other things, not to mention all the things that happened because of all this diagnosing.
eish man

I guess God really is good after all. I sure like Him...





 .................................................................................................
(I am NOT contagious, anymore.)

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

gross

*shudders*

today I went to the store and got a mop, and cleaning supplies. I've cleaned my room multiple times (you sorta have to with the dust crazy like it is each day.)

and I enjoy cleaning.
or
after I've cleaned.

Anyway, I've always borrowed things from the lodge but I feel like I'm stealing a bit or something and decided it was time to get my own stuff. After all, I do LIVE here now.
As in:
I moved
all of me
here.

Also, I decided to move out my winter clothes since its summer and hot as heck now.
While I was at that, I realized my undergarments were a
hot mess
and needed organizing.

Enter: my fingers touching
A SPIDER.
I mean, its just one of the many wall spiders that live on my walls, but I can't believe it got into my closest!!!

However, for the record. I did not
scream
or pee my pants.

Both things I would have done pre-two months ago.
So, big ups for me.

ps: this is what the wall spiders look like.
nasty little buggers....

Monday, September 21, 2009

enough

Praise the Lord for UNICEF. At least once a month the sweet peeps of the Mobile Clinic drive up the road to our farm. They have checked my kids. Giving em free shots, vitamins, medicine; whatever is needed.

They do it free.

Its like the Ice Cream truck back home.
Only, you'd have to pay for those goods.
And these guys don't give out cold delights.

Today I saw them for myself.
Enough is enough.

I've been on again
off again
with the cold/flu like
nastiness
going on in my nose, ears, and thoart.
They gave me pills.

To take
and make it all go away.

Pray I start feeling better.

With winter ending and summer coming that will help.
But I think most of it
has to do with
working
with the little kids.

Kids are always sick.
I dont' wanna be always sick.

The mobile clinic came today and I got seen by the doctor for freeeeeeee!!!!