Manassah

Manassah means: "The Lord has caused me to forget my past."

it all began about two years ago. probably longer. he was much loved by her. prayers were uttered over everything she owned. a rededication and anointing, her car, of course, was part of the praying. when they came to him, a prophesy: "He will be used for ministry." she took it, sat confused, and questioning, thinking to herself:
"well, i do use the car to take girlfriends out for coffee and encourage them. i guess thats what was meant?"
and it was forgotten. for two years. till friday two weeks ago.

my boss called inquiring after an add. he explained who i am a little. he explained what i am doing here in ZA. he explained what i needed the car for and how i would use the car.
in a moment the prayer, the prophesy was remembered. she would tell me she knew instantly i would be buying the car, even though it took me a week of tests and questions and emails and phone calls to be sure myself.

on saturday i laid eyes on Manassah for the first time.

i couldn't believe after almost five months of looking a car has finally matriculated. i have learned patience. grace. perseverance. appreciation. gratitude. so many hard life lessons as i waited.

he's perfect for me. a whimsical green color. old. full of history and life and worn-in. and he's cute and dainty and little in a sturdy sort of way.

we sat drank cold drinks together and chatted about life. she told me all about the prayers and how she loved him and will miss him. and i fought for a sense of normalcy and calm as her words bathed over me.

"two years ago....two years ago...two years ago..."
the only words that sank in that weaved their way into the fabric of my heart and mind.
"Lord! You knew? You knew even then? how?"

i will not cry in front of a stranger. i will not cry in front of a stranger*.
the mantra rang in my head.
i blinked back tears as i tried to grasp all she was sharing. for you see, she didn't know. she couldn't have. in fact. no one, save the Holy One who knit me in my mother's womb could possibly know. know i would be here today. here and needy.

two years ago last week was the bottom of the abyss. the lowest of the low points i have yet to see. and if i knew then a car was set apart for me i would have laughed in your face. because africa, and ministry, and living were so far removed from anything i wanted in that moment.

but He knew. and He saw. and He set before me like a lamp to my feet little guideposts to get here today. He knew i would be beyond frustrated waiting so long for a car. He knew i clung to hope and faith but seriously doubted anything would ever materialize. He knew what it would require to get me back to Africa.


people: He freakin planned a car for me, for today, over two years ago! 

i can not get over nor grasp the goodness of Him to me in His beckoning me and shaping me and how He has set before me this gift of blessing.

and so, his name is now Manassah. i wanted a good name. a strong name. i always loved Manassah and Ephraim and how they were children of promise after all the heartache Joseph experienced. i love both their names, but Manassah: to forget the past. that is a name i love.

two years ago he prepared and set apart this car for me. that attention to detail blows my mind. it fills me with ever greater hope in what He is preparing and doing in me now that i can't see.

.............................
*we're already fb friends and have set plans to reunite in person aside from business transactions. isn't that delightful? providing not only a car, but a friendship for me? just like Him.

and i can't take photos yet. its too personal and close to my heart. i am taking him in with my senses and basking in the goodness of the Lord. soon. i promise, soon.